Thursday, January 6, 2011

Well, I'm still here.

I wanted to type this up yesterday so I wouldn't forget it, but kinda still wanted to forget it so didn't. Today, I had some time without the kids (thank you Grandma and Grandpa!) and was able to tell the story to my sisters so I think I can actually type it up without crying now. Ready for a crazy story? Here goes....

Terrific T talks a lot about God talking to him. I always tell him that as long as God is telling him Godly things, than to keep listening. We have talked before about how God won't tell you anything that doesn't line up with what he knows from the Bible. Monday, he told me again how God is always talking to him. He said that since he was baptized, that God talks to him all the time, even telling him things like "You need to go to the bathroom so you don't wet your pants.". Ok, now I am thinking that he might be confusing his own thoughts with God's voice, but again, who am I to tell an 8 year old that he isn't hearing from God. We talked more about making sure that things line up with scripture (on an 8 year old level) and went on with our day.

Fast forward to Tuesday night. I went up to kiss the kids goodnight and Terrific T was a little bit teary. Not all out crying or anything but I could tell he was upset. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "God told me I am going to die tonight." SCREECH....put the brakes on, buddy. Not on my watch you're not!! I spent a long time praying with him and we talked about how God isn't a God of fear and loves him and on and on, praying and praying. When I am done, he asks "So, what are you going to do with my body in the morning?" Ugh - he wasn't even really upset anymore, just kinda matter of fact. We talked and prayed more and I told him to not worry. If God decided that Tuesday night was when he wanted to take him to heaven to be with Him, then he would be so happy there and not to worry about things here. Not exactly the "good night, sleep tight" speech I'm used to giving.

Needless to say Big Daddy and I did some serious praying and I slept about a wink all night long as I prayed, listened for T to roll over (his bed is right above ours) and we even snuck into his room to check on him. Now, I didn't logically think he was going to die that night. Really. But....what if? What if God really was talking to him? What if....? I am embarrassed to say that I have never spent an entire night praying over my kids before like I did that night. Morning comes and Big Daddy went upstairs and came back to tell me that all was well. Phew! Terrific T comes down about 8:30 and climbs in bed with me and after laying there for a minute says, "Well, I'm still here." We then talked about that God never lies. Never. So, since (thankfully) he IS still here, it was a lie he heard last night so it wasn't God. Now, how do I teach him to discern between his thoughts, the devil's schemes, and God's still small voice? I guess it all goes back to that God will not tell you anything that goes against the Bible. But that doesn't help explain that night. If Got had taken him home that night, that wouldn't have gone against the Bible. Which leaves me confused on how to explain it. Yes, in hindsight, we could see that it was a lie so not from God. But what about in that moment?

He was a little shocked when I told him I was praying for him all night. He asked if I believed that it would really happen too? I told him that I didn't think (hope) it would happen...but I took it as a good reminder from God to pray for him and C and P. As I was laying awake all night, a song we had sung in church Sunday kept running through my head, but instead of singing "All I am is Yours" I was singing "All I have is Yours". Terrific T, and C and P, are our kids, but they are God's kids too and I know He loves them even more than we do.

OK, I was wrong, I couldn't type that up without crying. UGH. So glad to have that night behind us and SO glad Terrific T is still here!


  1. OMG. Bless your heart. I don't even know what to say! {hugs}!!!!

  2. Oh my goodness that must have been a hard night for you. I think I would have reacted very much the same way! What I do think is so amazing is that he is communicating this to you and not just having this happen to him and telling no one. Have a peacefilled weekend!

  3. Oh no! I would have been a complete basketcase. I remember reading once that kids tend to start thinking about death around eight years, maybe he just had it on his mind?


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